ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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