ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.