ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Coffee doesn't fix Monday.
It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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