ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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