ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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