ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dress for the job you want.
The job you have will see you in at nine, in a lanyard, until retirement or restructure. Bet on restructure.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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