ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 21 JUNE 1995
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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