ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wisdom comes with age.
So does standing on the landing with no idea why you came upstairs, or exist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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