ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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