ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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