ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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