ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "taking a social media break".
You announced it on social media. Twice. With a carousel.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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