ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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