ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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