ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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