ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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