ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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