ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 30 OCTOBER 1997
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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