ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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