ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 1 MARCH 1998
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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