ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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