ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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