ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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