ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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