ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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