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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION MONDAY, 5 APRIL 1999
Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly.
That's more than your friends manage.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
  2. Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
  3. Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
  4. Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
  5. Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
  6. You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
  7. Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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