ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't do small talk".
You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails or replying. You do "vibes", and nobody can invoice those.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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