ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 21 MAY 1999
"Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again."
That's also the plan for your job next quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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