ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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