ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You are a valued member of the team.
So was the last person in your chair. Nobody knows where she went.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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