ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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