ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You wasted yours too. Old age is next, and you've got form.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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