ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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