ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Things will look better in the morning.
No. They'll just be better lit.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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