ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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