ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up.
Eleven kilometres later you'd caught three pigeons, a cold and a physio waiting list that will outlive the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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