ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Mondays aren't so bad.
They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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