ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy.
The company did the maths on your guilt, and the maths was right.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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