ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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