ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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