ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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