ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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