ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 31 AUGUST 2002
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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