ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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