ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every company now has an AI assistant.
It's the only member of staff nobody's asked to come in on Fridays, and the only one getting your job.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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