ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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