ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They say sweat is weakness leaving the body.
Yours has decided to stay.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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