ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your back now goes out when you sneeze.
It goes out more than you do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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