ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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