ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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